You jokes

Your face is so big that not even you can see it.

You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.

Knock knock.

You: Who's there?

Your new father!

What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."

What do you call a photo of an orphan?

A family photo.

Yo mom is so fat even Dora can explore you!

I wasn't looking at you, your big forehead was distracting me.

Are you adopted?

No.

I mean, who would want you?

Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”

Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.

Me: I have no bullet holes.

Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.

Me: Ayo what the fuc*.

Are you the sun? I can see you from a mile away.

You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.

How do you f**k a duck?

Usually duck a f**k.

Welcome to Joe's pizza, you make 'em, we bake 'em.

You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.

If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?

Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."

Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"

You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Why shouldn't you make an orphan cry?

Because they won't have a parent to cry to.

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????