You jokes

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Grounded beef.

On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Stephen.

Can't you read? It says "No Hawking."

How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?

– Sí...

See deez nuts!

One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Boo.

Boo who?

Well, you don't have to cry about it, Gary.

You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.

Bully: *Bullies kid*

Orphan: Stop!! *Cries*

Bully: What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?? XD

Orphan: :/

You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.

What do you call a bear with no ear?

B.

What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.

I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"

She said, "Yes."

"Knock knock."

I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

No? Neither did he.

I was gonna tell you a great pun, but it's too cheesy.

Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.

Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?

It was called "S & N."

I smell up dog in here.

"What's up, dog?"

Nothing much, how about you?

I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂

Ah, what's that on your face? Oh, I forgot, that is your ass. It's so ugly, you stupid-looking bitch!

How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?

One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.