You jokes
You're so fat you probably apply sunscreen with a paint roller.
What do you and Joe Biden have in common?
Nobody loves you or him.
You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?
'Cause then they know they won't die alone.
What did the orphan say to the bowling ball?
"I am orphan!"
"You are bowling ball!"
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
What did the emo say to the popular kid?
"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
What do you call sex with a hoover?
Clean sex.
What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?
Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?
They're the same thing.
What's the difference between you and me?
I have a plan for this new year.
So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.
What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.
What disease do you get from eating fish?
Salmonella!
Are you a Pikachu?
Because you are SHOCKINGLY beautiful!
Pokemon
How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
Say this when showing this website to someone: "You know, it's too bad this website doesn't have a homepage."
What do you call Aston?
Asston.
What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?
The worst shits you'll ever see!
I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"
(gun shot)