You jokes

How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?

It's only got 10 hours to live.

A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?

I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.

So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!

What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?

"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"

POV: You make an emo Mr. Beast.

What time is it when you cannot walk? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽.

What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?

You can't run over a yellow line.

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?

The Twin Towers.

What did the Indian say to the cow?

I lowe you, moo than anything.

You look easy to draw.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Answer: Special forces.

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

You're so fat, you drank an invisibility potion, and everyone could still see you!

What category of music did JFK like?

You could say he was a metalhead.

How is spinach like anal sex? If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.

Q: Why can you be rude to an orphan?

A: Because who are they gonna tell their parents?

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You make them clap until they go home.

What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.

What do you call a group of emos? Suicide Squad.