You jokes
When you went to an ugly competition, the judges said, "No professionals allowed."
Obi-Wan be like:
"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
Memes
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
I hop on Clash Royale. I see Mega Knight. I cry.
Like if you hate the Mega Knight from Clash Royale because I really, really hate it so much!
Your dad has a huge PP.
How you know it’s her time in MJ's house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
Your face is so big that not even you can see it.
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."
"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"
"I think you should ask yourself that."
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?
What do you call a sharpened pencil? You call a sharpened pencil a sharpened pencil.
You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window, and the window threw you back.
Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?
The seventh door.
My love for you is like poop.
Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.
Roses are red, violets are blue. You belong in a zoo, but don't worry, I'll be there too. Just not in a cage, I'll be laughing at you.
When your little brother knocks your two Jenga towers you made with his toy airplane,
You: "Hey, stop trying to recreate the Twin Towers!"