You jokes
Roses are red, grass is greener.
When I think of you, I play with my weiner.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
When you are bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Call their parents?
What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"
Shep
If at first you don't succeed, cheat.
How do you make an orphan clap until his hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?
Bro, you look like you got your hair from the Roblox avatar shop.
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
A husband and a wife have four children. The oldest three are tall with blonde hair. The youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said, "Honey, can you be completely honest with me? Is our youngest son mine?" The wife says, "I swear to all that is holy, he is your son." Then the husband died and the wife muttered, "Thank god he didn't ask about the other three."
Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.
I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...
You know the Twin Towers employees were supposed to meet a good football team. Instead, they just met the Jets.
What do you call expired milk?
The Milky Way.
If you are poor, get money.
Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?
What do you call two natives in a ditch?
A sleepover.
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
Zach is a gay kid from Rob. Love you!