You jokes
You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇
What do you call a fat downie?
A couch potato.
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."
What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.
Memes
What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."
What do you say to a black midget?
Wanna a shower? You look like you got splashed by a muddy puddle.
You must work at McDonald's because you have a McDouble chin.
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
What do you call a Pegasus that is being sus?
A megasus!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you!
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
What do you call a fast boat?
Usain Boat.
Do you wanna eat makeup, 'cause you're not pretty on the inside?
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
What do you call someone without a body and a nose? Nobody knows.
What do you call an Asian, a blind man, and a very bad driver?