You jokes

Dear doctor,

I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?

Yours Truly, Ray Palp

Your hairline is so bad when I looked at you, I had to use accessibility.

My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."

Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.

"Fatherless jokes aren't funny, you know."

The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.

What do you call a snowman that lives in Halloween? Snoween!

Hi, you guys don't know me, but I have my best interests at heart.

I'm a kind person who wants to put a stop to the bullying. I think that Gwen, Addison Banks, Watersharky, ect. are kind people! Also, I kinda like Watersharky...

You: Its nighttime, shouldn't we be heading to bed?

Boy Roommate: Ok, are you Top or Bottom?

You: Uhhhhhhh

Boy Roommate: No dumby, bunk beds.

You: Thank God.

Boy Roommate: But if you wanna, we can...

You: *faints*

You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!

Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.

How emos propose: Would you please join my family tree?

I am the least serious person ever, but whoever is joking about cancer is vile :)

Get some fucking respect, you silly tramp!

Hi, my name isn't Pi.

Look up at the sky and wonder why.

Why are you alive?

To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?

(BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)

Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.

What do you call onions and beans?

Tear gas.

What do you call a bunch of microcephalics in a swimming pool?

Vegetable soup.

How do you punish a blind kid?

Move to a new house.

If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."

Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.