You jokes
Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There's no menu. You get what you deserve!
Life is beautiful, but you are ugly.
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
If you are on here, don’t hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn’t matter.
What do you get when you throw a pebble in the ocean?
A wet pebble.
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Ash."
"Ash who?"
"Bless you!"
Guys tell me that I have a MILF for a mom. So I told my mom that guys tell me that she is a MILF. My mom said to me, "What is a MILF?" so I said, "Mother I'd Like TO F-ck." So my mom started to laugh and said, "Well, you do need a new step dad."
Do you know a funny bus driver? I do.
Where do you think all the orphans went?
In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Depresso!!! LOL XD XD XD
What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?
One does not crow when you put it in an oven.
What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home?
🏡 night time and I can drive to the car tomorrow night.
What did a tree do for a human rights day at a tree?
I had no time today after a night with you today, but you walk away.
What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
What do you call a crappy circumcision?
A rip-off.
Want to hear a pun?
Well, I'll punch you with one!
Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.
Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.