You jokes
Is your mom a virgin?
Mine is.
How am I alive?
You tell me.
What do you call a group of emos?
The Suasied Squid.
Hey guys, so we have a friend group and we need followers and people! So far it's me and Royal. If you want to join just comment why and you're in unless people have reasons to not want you!
You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.
Doctor: I can't treat you.
Orphan: Why!
Doctor: I'm a family doctor.
My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣
You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂
Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?
No, what happened?
He couldn’t stop pootin!
When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.
When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.
Q: What do you call two nuns watching television?
A: Not very interesting.
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
Your classmate: You're so ugly.
Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.
Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.
Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?
A: See you on the flip side.
So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"
Why can't he say that?
Answer: He works at an orphanage.
You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.
Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.
Congratulations! 10 years+ record of hide and seek with your parents, and they're still hiding!
They hide so well, they probably forgot about you. Mwah. <3
Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!
Bob Weir: Where are you going?
Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈
What do you call a group of depressed teenagers?
Suicide Squad.
To Mr. Nice Guy, you are nice, sweet, and caring! I am so grateful to be your friend!