You jokes
A man walks in to the doctor.
He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."
Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!
What do you call a bunch of wheelchairs on top of one another?
A vegetable rack.
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Answer: A FLAP.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
Memes
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”
Reply back with “Because you were born.”
Do you like fish sticks?
If you do, you're a gay fish.
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
If you don't stop with the puns, soon it won't be so fun.
You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.
What time is it when you say I can’t walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦼.
That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."
How do you make any salad a Caesar salad?
Stab it 23 times!
I’ll never forget my grandpa's last words to me...
“Are you still holding the ladder??”
Almost all of you suck. If you're following me, hah, this isn't a joke, but it gave my profile a 1 thingy heheh. KYS, Wade =D
What do you call an 18-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?