You jokes
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There's no menu. You get what you deserve!
Glad to present you a wood clock.
https://olegon.ru/clock/
Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.
Memes
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
What is green?
Grass, you tard!
What do you call a cow without any legs?
Ground beef!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
All the traffic stopping the cars, how do you spell that without any R’s?
That.
What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk?
Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead, so are you.
(I have no friends because all of my friends play Fortgay, just like my friends all of them are gay.)
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?
A plane wingless.
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼
What do you call a cow that has stuff growing on it?
Mosscow
Scientist time travels into the year 2024.
Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
You might find this joke a rib-tickler, but I sure do.