You jokes
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
Inmate 1: Why are you in prison?
Inmate 2: I killed 4 people and robbed someone, what about you?
Inmate 1: I blew up a school bus.
Inmate 2: OMG, you demon! Were they autistic?
Inmate 1: No, they were Fortnite kids.
Inmate 2 (who is Muslim): Halelouia, we have found the messiah!
You were tricked, loser. ;]
Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.
Whoever is an orphan and wants these to go, or if you just want them to go away, comment down below, or if you can't comment, give it a thumbs up!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw the baby.
You know why Elmer Fudd always came out hunting rabbits in the woods? Because Bugs Bunny would not stop flirting with his girlfriend.
When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.
No, seriously,
I'm right behind ya.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
If you have sex and your African parents find out,
“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."
What do you call an Indian person who is not starving? Dead.