You jokes

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.

Let me know if you can't cum.

What do you call an emo group?

Suicide squad.

You look like Megamind, drug dealer.

How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!

Are your forehead and hairline friends? 'Cause they go way back.

Like if you know someone is emo and comment "emo🇷🇺."

Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.

What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?

Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.

How many babies does it take to paint the side of a barn?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

How do you make Olaf hard? You tickle his snowballs.

You make Sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you.

I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?

Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!

You know I would tell you a 9/11 joke, but it just doesn’t hit the spot.

Why are orphans so sad?

Because every time they swallow, they think... "You should have Mom."

Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.

Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"

Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"

What do you call a black prostitute with braces?

A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.