You jokes
You know why Elmer Fudd always came out hunting rabbits in the woods? Because Bugs Bunny would not stop flirting with his girlfriend.
Like if you are scared of Covid-19.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
Fuck you
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotopuss
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
What do you call an Indian person who is not starving? Dead.
You know the sport that Mexicans are good at?
Cross-country.
If you have sex and your African parents find out,
“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.
No, seriously,
I'm right behind ya.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd.