You jokes

Why can orphans give all you people posting all these stupid orphan jokes over and over again a good kick in the face?

Well, what are you gonna do, tell their parents?

P.S. Stop posting stupid orphan jokes over and over again.

You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.

When you see a group of pornstars sitting together looking up with their mouths open, that's when you know that Mama bird is back at the nest to feed the baby birds some worms.

What's the difference between a dwarf and a Japanese man?

I don't know, you tell me.

If you don't like racist people, isn't that discrimination?

How do you stop constipation?

You scare the crap outta them.

(Crap is another word for poop.)

What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?

I C D K

I can make a word with those: "DICK".

Women: Can I have your number?

Jesus: No.

Women: Why? Are you scared?

Jesus: No. Just when you wanna talk, just pray.

What do you call it when Neil Armstrong started cuming in space?

The Milky Way.

Officer: Hi, how high are you?

Pothead: No officer, it's "how are you?"

Officer: Oh, I'm sorry, I've been high since last night.

Pothead: Cool, I'd like to give you some weed, happy 420, sir.

Officer: Omg, thanks man, appreciate that.

Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.

Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."

If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.

Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!

In America, you catch Pikachu. In Soviet Russia, Pikachu catches you.

What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?

A Christian.

(Wait, forgot about the 3rd third thing.) I have said this countless times, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to you: quit hating on particular jokes. You don't like it? Nobody cares. Don't go into the morbid jokes category, you idiots, ffs!

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

He pasta-way.

I remember my grandad's last words: "Are you still holding the ladder?"

What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...

Water... yup, water...

What is the difference between cremation and smoking?

While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.