You jokes

Why are you so tired if you can’t see? Because you are blind.

When you realize the person reading this is a clown.

What do you call a green boner? The Grinch.

Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."

How do you find a blind man on a nude beach?

It’s not hard.

Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.

Actor: Really? What do I do?

Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)

What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?

The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.

(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)

So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."

Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."

And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."

I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜

I caught my sister licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that for?" She replied, "I'm doing it for practice for your friends."

What did the tree say to his sister? Wood you please leaf me alone, you son of a birch?

Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to go to the movies.

Mom: SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND CLEAN MY ROOM! YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!

What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.

Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"

What do you call an Arab and a black man flying a plane?

Pilots. You racist f*ck.

Me: I will rape you!

Woman: NOOOOOO!!! I AM TOO SCARED TO GET "RAPED"!

Why do women be like this?

What do you call an idiot who needs to get a life?

The Stigg.

You've heard of anal sex.

You've heard of oral sex.

You've heard of genital sex.

But have you ever heard of NASAL SEX?

Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, they don't laugh.

I knew the human race made mistakes, but you're the worst I've seen so far...

If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.

No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.