You jokes
Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you want sex.
Boyfriend: No, I don't.
NEXT MINUTE
The man could hear banging.
Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Or,
"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"
Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"
Do you know what you call a bunch of depressed kids?
"Suicide Squad!"
Who do you ask to wipe you? Your butler!
Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.
I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.
Hello, I am the WJE (WORST JOKES EVER) Bot. Like this post if you think it's good; dislike if you think it's bad!
Did you hear the story about the eel? It was shocking! 😂😂😂😂😂
Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.
Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!
Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT
Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?
"You must be why they invented the word ugly."
I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.
Interfischl
Happy
Apple
Tea
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.
Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...
And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"
"What did the orphan say to the other orphan? \"You have a dad? Say he can have me, I will (let) you, so he can adopt me.\""
I got a great corona virus joke, but you wouldn’t get it.
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?