You jokes
My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.
So I threw an orange at her.
You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear.
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
A hoppo!
Memes
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fffffsshhhhhh
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking you.
I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.
Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it!
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.