Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
You Jokes
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
Yo mama is so ugly, Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix you!"
Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!
Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.
Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Or,
"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"
"You must be why they invented the word ugly."
I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.
Interfischl
Happy
Apple
Tea
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!
Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT
Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?
I think I gave you the coronavirus because I can't stop staring, a-choo!
Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
A hoppo!
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
What animal can't you trust with your homework?
A: A cheetah!
What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.
Did you hear the story about the eel? It was shocking! 😂😂😂😂😂
What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.
