You jokes
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.
What do you call a man with no head? Airhead.
House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
What is the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
You're so ugly, you make onions cry.
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?
Hot wheels.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your mom gay, And so are you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
(insert funny joke about a dick here).
Did you laugh? Be honest.
Girl: Dad, where are you?
Dad: I went to go get milk.
Girl: But we have milk.
Dad: I know, I just don't love you.
I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.
Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡
My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.
(If you see this joke with a blue "S" that's also me. I just have an acc now.)
When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.
What do you call a lanky yellow man with abnormally large ears? Zac! Hahahahahahahahahahah
Are you a train because I want to get railed by you? ;)