You jokes
You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."
What is an orphan's least favorite show? “How I Met Your Mother.”
My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(
I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"
I hope you have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
(Answer) Ground beef.
Sorry for a bad joke.
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.
Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?
3 minutes later:
Why didn't I listen to the strong one?
Girl: Dad, where are you?
Dad: I went to go get milk.
Girl: But we have milk.
Dad: I know, I just don't love you.
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?
Sit down comedy.
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
Because they don’t deserve rights!
What do you call an annoyed octopus?
Octopissy.
"Bill swift here, you make them, we take them!"
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
A cow with no front legs walking around?
Beef stroganoff.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
I ought to complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.
You are stupid!
Nana
What is 9 + 10?
21
You stupid!