You jokes
"You need to cease, all those fat cuz u obese."
Orphan: Asks you random joke. What is the difference between my boomerang and my parents?
Me: The boomerang came back.
Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.
Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.
Kid 1: Aw, thanks!
Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You only need 1 nail to hang a painting!
Work
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
What do you call a bald person on fire?
A fried egg.
An old man and a child are walking into the woods. Suddenly, they stop.
"Mister," the child says, "I'm scared, these woods are dark and creepy..."
The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Alright, what do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
What do you call a living Panera Bread?
Panera Breath.
Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.
What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?
Sex worker.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Nah! You're so poor, you can't afford free stuff!
You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.