You jokes
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
Do you know the phrase, "One man's trash is another man's treasure?" Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
What pizza 🍕 do you order for Christmas?
Cheeses Crust!
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will have dialogue.”
Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?
They never get old.
You know why morning food digests so quickly.
Because it breaks fast.
What do you call a selfie taken by an orphan?
A family portrait.
Hi Leyla, I have been trying to reach you for a while. Where have you been? I was wondering if you wanted to chat.
You know why the Twin Towers were more remembered? A hexagon is more commendable than a pentagon.
I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"
What do you call a cow with no legs?
(Answer) Ground beef.
Sorry for a bad joke.
You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until their parents come home.
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"
What do you call a fish with no parents?
An orfin.
Some dude: Water you thinking?
Me: You're drowning in my head.
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.