You jokes
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.
If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
Don't you feel an empty feeling...
IN YOUR SKULL!
Memes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.
What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Picasshole.
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
Your hairline is so far back your dad had to go find it for you.
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?
A cutting board.
Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.
What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.