You jokes

What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?

Geo dude.

What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.

You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.

What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?

Hot wheels.

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?

VEGETABLE OIL!

What's something you can say in church and while having sex?

I come in the name of the Lord.

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "She was a little tardy."

I asked her, "I thought they all were."

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:

"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"

Lily, Amy, Natalie, and Gabriella, it's my birthday tomorrow. Please come if you want to come. If you come to the party, there will be snacks and cake. Ty.

What do spiders and Black people have in common?

When they’re black, they kill you.

How do you know you had a gay cookout?

All the hotdogs taste like ass.

What do you call a cab for black men?

A cop car.

What do you call a Black man having a seizure?

Chocolate shake.

How do you know you’re at a gay church?

Half the congregation is kneeling.

What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?

A green bean.

Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?

Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!

What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can’t hear an enzyme.

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!

Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!