You jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you a lot!
What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A pork chop.
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.
You: What you doing?
I wonder what you’re doing because you’re bad at math, hahahahaha!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Did you hear about the Mormons?
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.
What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain.
Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poker Face.
One volcano said, "Is that you, Qs? I am hot."
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?
Bryce: What?
Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!
P.S. I'm a girl.
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"
Nobody knows how bad you smell.