You jokes
Man: Hey Siri!
Siri: Yes?
Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?
Siri: Uh...
*phone literally explodes*
Things you say before sex, Disney addition:
"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"
Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose 👃, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃.
Gwen, you need to shut up, for once!
U die from robot bite.
Do you know Candice?
"Candice balls" fit in yo mouth.
Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
What do you call a fly without wings? Dead.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
Does it cycle now? 🚲
Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?
A: Udderly destroyed.
Nina, you better run to hell. You're going there anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't be mean to Alex!!!!!!!!!!! He is sweet, kind, loving, and protective!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
What did the purple grape say to the green grape? "Breathe, you idiot, breathe!"
Get it?
This is our motto- "Never fear orphans! You are even more special than diamonds."
Orphan club for ppl who stand up for orphans!
Do you ever wonder why orphans buy small cereal boxes? It's because they can't get family size.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Some girls are like rocks.
You skip the flat ones.