You jokes
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!
You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.
Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?
Because he punched dumbos like you people!
Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!
When I saw you, it instantly made me cry. LOL.
How many balls do you have on your body?
2. Your butt.
I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.
I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"
And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"
And I said: "Your parents."
Did you hear the passengers on the Titanic invited Yo Momma and the Titanic crew said, "Man overboard!"
How is toilet paper recycled?
Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.
You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?
Sit down comedy.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
Because they don’t deserve rights!
What do you call an annoyed octopus?
Octopissy.
Some girls are like rocks.
You skip the flat ones.
You're so fat that I run around you for exercise.
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.