You jokes
How do you know you had a gay cookout?
All the hotdogs taste like ass.
How do you know you’re at a gay church?
Half the congregation is kneeling.
What's something you can say in church and while having sex?
I come in the name of the Lord.
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
What do you call a rapper who becomes a chef?
A LYRICAL COOK!
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES gardening?
MC Planter.
Why download Fruit Ninja when you have your arm?
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Som Ting Wong.
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I saw your mom beat you.
What do you call two black lads in gold?
A Twix.
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
MC Presto.