You jokes

Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!

All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.

What do you call a lanky yellow man with abnormally large ears? Zac! Hahahahahahahahahahah

Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?

If you drop something, make your short friend get it.

First date be like:

Me: "I work with animals every day."

Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"

Me: "I'm a butcher."

Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is literally just a scoreboard.

What do you call a group of emos?

A Suicide Squad.

Are you a train because I want to get railed by you? ;)

My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.

(If you see this joke with a blue "S" that's also me. I just have an acc now.)

Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.

Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.

But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."

If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.

Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.

You're so ugly, you make onions cry.

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your mom gay, And so are you.

How is toilet paper recycled?

Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.

You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.

Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?

Because he punched dumbos like you people!