You jokes
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?
Turkish.
Kid: I forgot to flush the toilet, sorry I just forgot.
Adult: Just like your parents forgot YOU 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
So I went to a mall and I was finna buy something... and I saw a little boy and he said "hello," so then I passed by him and he said "hi," and I was like "hi nigga," and he said, "um, just wondering something... I mean I like jokes, but what is dark humor?" And I was like "umm🤔.. it's like 🤔🤔...like you see that guy without legs? Tell him to stand up"... and he said "I'm blind nigga" and I said "exactly homie"... aight nigga peace and look out😏😉
Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.
When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
How do you keep a Biden supporter in suspense?
...
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?
You can roast chicken.
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I did app.
I did app who?
You did a poo.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
You know I really love going to school and meeting my crush.
All I have to do is go to the Africa section.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
You wanna hear a joke? It's YOU.
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.