You jokes

What do you call a pig who knows karate?

A pork chop.

Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.

Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.

Years later:

Dad still did not come back.

What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

A good start :)

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?

There was nothing left but de Brie!

I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.

You: What you doing?

I wonder what you’re doing because you’re bad at math, hahahahaha!

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh.

Did you hear about the Mormons?

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

How do you know someone is fucking dumb?

They put jokes that have been used several times already.

What do you call a hill with cows on it?

A Moo-ntain.

Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poker Face.

One volcano said, "Is that you, Qs? I am hot."

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Olive.

Olive who?

Olive you a lot!

What do you call a PEIS?

"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"

Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.