You jokes
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.
What do you call two black lads in gold?
A Twix.
What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.
Babys Horenet's first word
What do you call a living Panera Bread?
Panera Breath.
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.
I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"
I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"
Bully: Ha, guess what?
Nerd: What?
Bully: You are adopted.
Nerd: At least I was wanted!
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
No, and neither did she.
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower in summer?
"Are you ready for fall?"
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
POV: You make an emo Mr. Beast.
What do you call a doctor that's a skeleton?
Doctor Bones.
Me: Knock, knock.
Other person: Who’s there?
Me: Atch.
Other person: Atch who?
Me: Bless you!
Why do you always high five the emo person? 'Cause you can't just leave them hanging.
You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?
The second one never lands as good as the first one.
How dare you people make 9/11 jokes? It's just "plane" rude!