You jokes
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
A cow with no front legs walking around?
Beef stroganoff.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
You are stupid!
Nana
What is 9 + 10?
21
You stupid!
Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.
You don't have dreams, you have movies.
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
There is a dark alley. Who do you call?
Batman.
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!