You Jokes

What do you call a terrorist swimming?

A bath bomb!

How do you kill a spider?

Just get an autistic person.

What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?

Dry Vegetable.

What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?

You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.

What is the difference between a feminazi and a female prostitute?

If you want the female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

Bro, I gotta tell you a joke.

Nevermind, it's too cheesy!

Are you a border? 'Cause I can't get over you.

Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?

Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.

Why can you bully an orphan?

Because they can’t tell their parents.

"You're really hot, I wanna hit on you like the plane hit the Twin Towers."

My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."

Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?

What do you call two AI systems that are in love with each other? Member of chat LGBT.

What do you call a bald person on fire?

A fried egg.

Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?

Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."

What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

Are you Shane Dawson?

Because I can be your pussy.