You jokes

To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.

"Fuck me right in the balls, you dirty cow!"

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You make them clap until their parents come home.

You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.

What do you call a one-legged China man?

Ty Whon Shu.

You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

What do you call a selfie taken by an orphan?

A family portrait.

Hi Leyla, I have been trying to reach you for a while. Where have you been? I was wondering if you wanted to chat.

My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"

I hope you have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

(Answer) Ground beef.

Sorry for a bad joke.

Girl: Dad, where are you?

Dad: I went to go get milk.

Girl: But we have milk.

Dad: I know, I just don't love you.

House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.

Are you a knife?

Because I want to deep throat you.

What is the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

Pikachu, I choose you!

You're so ugly, you make onions cry.

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."