You jokes

Teacher

We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"

Group

What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?

A vowel movement.

Penis

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

Size

When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."

Memes

Jelly

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.

Amputation

"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."

Thigh

If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.

Football

What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?

Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

Bill Cosby

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Bill Cosby.

Bill Cosby who?

Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.

Parachute

What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?

One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.

Knife

How do you kill a retard?

Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"

Condom

Why should you always wear rubber?

So you don’t leave DNA evidence.

Guy

Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?

He didn't either.