You jokes
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
What pizza 🍕 do you order for Christmas?
Cheeses Crust!
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will have dialogue.”
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
I'm bored. If you want to friend me in Roblox, my username is Talitha95g and my nickname is talithafromamirica.
What do you call an elite bungee jumper? An emo kid.
You caught a Penaldo!
Description: Penaldo, the finished statpadder. It is said that Penaldo drains the energy of its teammates and sells underwears.
Type: Ghost type.
Moves: Dive
Disappear in big games
Cry for pens
Statpad vs farmers
Sells underwear
Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?
Doctor: The morgue.
Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!
Doctor: And we're not there yet!
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
"Fuck me right in the balls, you dirty cow!"
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
What do you call a one-legged China man?
Ty Whon Shu.
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"
You know why the Twin Towers were more remembered? A hexagon is more commendable than a pentagon.
My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(
I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"