You jokes
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
Where do you get 30% of your agua? From AGUAfers.
Memes
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
What is a room you can not enter?
A mushroom.
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?
I hear they got six months each.
How do you know if a rapist loves you?
He will rape you many times.
Did you hear about the band Manhole? I hear they're a metal cover.
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
Your mama is so fat, you can't tell if she's pregnant or not.
Do you know how many women have been pope?
Nun.
My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."
Bully: You're a loser and fat.
Me: Shut up. The camera thought you were a house.
Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*
Me: Uh, male?..
Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*
Me: You silly goose.
*Silence for like three seconds*
Me: Still male though-
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
I'll give you 20 dollars if you let me cum in you.
Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question.
Johnny: What?
Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty?
Johnny: Yes ofc jesus made everybody wonderfully!
Ex: Awhh!
Johnny: But whoever made you was painting Thomas the Train while making your face.