You jokes
What do you call a Panera Bread doctor?
A Panera med.
What is it called when you talk in Panera Bread?
Panera said.
What do you call an Emo in the hanging gallows?
Happy for the first time.
You are so ugly when your mum dropped you off at school, she got fined for littering.
Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.
What do you call the door that is cute and adorable?
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.
What do you call a cute door?
Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?
Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
What do you call a disabled person called Gerald?
GERALD!
What do you call a series of ascending steps with eyes that follow you intently?
A starecase.
You can get the park in the park with you if I have park in your car, and I will be there in a couple of hours. Would you be able to pick them out at your house, and I will pick you up, and I will be at your place at your convenience. I can get them in a little while. I’m at the park. Bye.
His neighbor asked Hodja,
"Do you have some forty-year-old vinegar?"
"I have," answered Hodja.
"Would you give me some? I need it to prepare a medication," said the man.
"No, I won't," replied Hodja. "If I had given some to everybody who asked for it, would I have it for forty years?"