How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
You Jokes
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,
I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.
Never eat more than you can lift.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
God is you... If you have a dog
I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...
But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊
What's wrong with 89?
You blow me and I owe you one.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
You wonder and you wonder. Grandma said you better go to bed now. Tell your dad and grandpa, and your dad and your mom.
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?
That's okay. There is really no point to it.
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Yeah, neither has he!
I've patched 1,000 roofs, and they don't call you Boris the roof patcher. I've built 100,000 swords and shields, and they don't call you Boris the blacksmith, but you fuck one goat!
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?
She called for a price check.
What do you call a scared octopus?
An octopussy.
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
🌍: You're so hot!
🌎: How are you single?
☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!
