You jokes
Y'all are so rude on here. If you don't like what I put on MY profile, you can click your rude ass off of my profile and look at some other fucking jokes. DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING RUDE TO SAY ABOUT ME!
What did the Chinese man say to his wife?
I'll chin you later.
Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?
So they can always see their parents.
What are the four letters you don't want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.
Memes
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!
What do you call a fat woman that prays?
A holy cow.
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"
Student: "I'm not going."
Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"
What did a fat cow give you?
Homework.
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
Do you like Wendy’s?
Yeah, Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth!
Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!
Orphan: What! No! Please no!
Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!
What time is it when you cannot walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!