(Wait, forgot about the 3rd third thing.) I have said this countless times, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to you: quit hating on particular jokes. You don't like it? Nobody cares. Don't go into the morbid jokes category, you idiots, ffs!
You Jokes
I remember my grandad's last words: "Are you still holding the ladder?"
I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."
What do you get when you cross the terms homeless and abandoned?
POORphan
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
What do you call a nut in jail?
A busted nut.
You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?
Have you ever tried to clean one?
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
What do you call a kid with a special sense of humor? Autism, hahaha!
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
