You jokes
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?
Catch you later!
I would tell you a pizza joke, but it's too cheesy.
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow use, you wouldn't get it.
"Bippity Boppity Boop! Bill Cosby's coming for you!"
What do you call a trans superhero team?
Ex-men.
How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?
Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.
Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?
I guess it really IS all in the execution.
Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”
You're so fat, you drank an invisibility potion, and everyone could still see you!
Your mamma so fat, Thanos clapped 4 times.
What do you call angry midgets?
Short-tempered.
My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She's gonna eat me later!"
Yo mama is so nasty that she sucked your dad's dick and came in to kiss you goodnight.
What do you call an alpaca of Pakistani nationality?
An alpaki.