You jokes
Plastic bags look like you, dirty and fake.
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
Do you play COC?
Because it’s a pretty good game.
If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)
What do you call 5 gays on fire?
LGBBQ.
On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you this weekend?
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
POV: You go to Asian prison.
You get served extra rice.
When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.
My sister.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
Did you hear? There's a new fast food restaurant coming: Jacko in the Box.
Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
Yo Mama so fat, she could fit you in her stomach.
What's the difference between a priest and customer service?
At least you can call customer service and tell them how your experience was.