You jokes
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
Yo, hairline go so far back that your dad found it before you did.
When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed.
I can't believe this!
Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.
Sister: You're so stupid.
Me: Calling me stupid doesn't make you any smarter!
Plastic bags look like you, dirty and fake.
What do you call a gay person on fire?
LGBBQ
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?
A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.
Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair? (RC-XD)
What do you call a blond with half a brain? Gifted.