You jokes

Hi, how are you?

What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”

What do you call a door that bells? A doorbell.

What do you call Hitler when he gets thrown?

A gas grenade.

Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."

LOL

There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."

Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.

What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?

Panera fed.

Credit to RogueRobot for this one:

What does Panera sleep in?

Panera bed.

What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?

Panera Ned.

I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!

What do you call a Panera Bread doctor?

A Panera med.

What is it called when you talk in Panera Bread?

Panera said.

"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."

You're so poor that you can't pay for a public school.

I only have a few friends, like if you relate.

Based on a true story.

Your money, you bully's everything you hate.

If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!

What do you call an Emo in the hanging gallows?

Happy for the first time.

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"

You can only say "Kobe" now when you're playing flight simulator.

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?

"Happynese" (happy knees).

You're so fat, you drank an invisibility potion, and everyone could still see you!