Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
You Jokes
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”
Chef: “Why thank you.”
Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”
Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?
They didn't because they ate it.
What do you call a terrible bus company?
Stagecoach Highlands.
If you are going to bully anyone, then bully an orphan, because what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Gun
You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"
How do you make an emo mad at you?
Cut the rope.
Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?
He pasta-way...
You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?
What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.
Roses are red and violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the third one's for you.
Have you ever seen the Pokemon called Ryh... Rhydon these nuts?
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
You call it a school shooting.
I call it an unfair shootout.
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?
The knee caps.
You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.
What do you call an emo with knife cuts on their wrist?
A barcode.
The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"
