You jokes
What do you call a midget born from precum?
"Half Nut!"
How do you make an emo jump? Tell him to go to the roof.
Quote Of The Day: Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.
Love you guys, and hope today was amazing!
Peace out! <3
Your hairline is so far back, I couldn't see you even when Will Smith slapped it.
You know who deserves a medal? The guy who killed Hitler.
Memes
Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!
My friend's mom: Why you bully me?
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.
If a woman says she needs to set boundaries between you and her, you would be crossing it if you are a Mexican.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
You're pretty, pretty dumb.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."
Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!