You jokes
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.
What do you call a group of Alabama superheroes?
The Incredibles.
How do you know Adam and Eve were White?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from a Black man?
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have five fingers, two of them are for you.
Wanna play dolls?
I can be Ken, and you can be the box I come in.
You know what’s traumatizing?
Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.
Help!
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
What do you call my friends?...
Short.
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
I can't believe this!
Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.
Sister: You're so stupid.
Me: Calling me stupid doesn't make you any smarter!