You jokes
What do you call an apartment full of black people?
A CON-dominium.
What do you call a group of rappers stuck in traffic?
A cypher circle.
What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?
Panera bloodshed.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
How did you get into the tampon 100?
Pull some strings!
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable!
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.