You jokes

Sans: What do you have there?

Frisk: A KNIFE!

Sans: NOO!!!

You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.

When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.

What do you call a picture of an orphan?

A family photo.

Name a nut. You because are nuts.

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"

"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."

Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.

What do you call a suspicious dog?

A sussy bark-er.

A goose with no beak, and you eat?

Goose beak salad, file! :)

Q: What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?

A: A mud slide.

My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!

What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?

RoboCop.

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"

I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.

How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.

I have had it up to here with you.

(Then there Hight.)

Why can’t you sell nans, but you can sell zebras?

If you killed an orphan's family... oh wait!

Friend 1: Did you?

Depressed friend 2: I didn't!

Friend one: Swear on your life!

Depressed friend 2: I swear.

A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.

Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?

Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.