You jokes
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
The weird moaning sounds when you try to slide in the back door.
Followed by slipping in Kentucky (KY) Jelly.
Followed by landing in deep shit.
Followed by being totally covered in sea men.
I would build you a monument so that you would finally come up with clever thoughts.
What do you call a lesbian vampire?
Cunt Dracula.
Would you rather have ten babies in one trash can or one baby in ten trash cans?
What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?
Leaving, walking.
Beethoven to Chris Doemges: "What instrument do you play outside in the Arctic at -12 degrees Celsius?"
Doemges: "Probably the shiver..."
Charlie Chaplin and Tork Poettschke meet.
Chaplin: "What can I do for you?"
Poettschke: "Please get away from me."
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What do you call an Irish lesbian?
A Gaelic.
Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️
What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
What do you call a rude math teacher with a lisp?
A mathive dick.
When they said sin was ugly to look at, I didn't know God would use you as an example.
If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!
You will find Taylor Swift on the streets before you find your hairline.
Did you know there's a place in Germany called Hanover?
Must be lots of drunks there.
Your momma is so slutty, they hired her as a condom tester.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.
Did you get seafood without me?
When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting? When he wants to fit in your clothes!