You jokes
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?
Dave: No.
Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
What do you call a virgin in Alabama? An orphan.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
What do you call a creepy IT teacher?
A PDF file.
In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.
Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
What do you call a single bisexual?
All bi myself.
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...
Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)
AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
How do you get my neighbor out of their tree?
You untie the rope.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer? Cancer doesn't leave you.
What do you call a Russian tree?
Dimitree.