You jokes

Apple

  • If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?

    The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.

    Bus

  • I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

    She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

    I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

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  • Gold

  • Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?

    Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.

  • 1
  • Number

  • Why shouldn’t you call people in China?

    Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.

  • 1
  • Mother

  • Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?

    I really hit the mother lode with you!