You jokes
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD
What do you call a group of Emos?
Suicide squad.
What do you call an anorexic blond with a yeast infection?
... A quarter pounder with cheese.
Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!
Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.
Say "ocean" 5 times and you say "oh shit!"
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
You smell like tap water and cornflakes.
Teacher: What does a chicken give you?
Student: An egg!
Teacher: What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework!
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
Hehe
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
Hello, this is Godlygirl26. I want to help people with their problems no matter what. There is nothing that God cannot do. I want y'all to know that God is with you, not any of those stone or wood "gods" but a true, loving, powerful God. DM this right here and I will answer. Hope I can help you! Love, Godlygirl26.
You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.