You jokes
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: How do you breathe through that little thing?
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”
The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”
So the boy said, “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”
When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”
The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?
You put food on the ceiling and they start jumping.
If you play FNF, I play a game because he has two balls, boi.
When people make accounts about you and a category.
What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? The I Fell Tower!
You know what I saw today? Everything I looked at.
You want a joke? My entire existence.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
Have you heard the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Great saying.
Not so great way to find out you are adopted.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time!
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
MC Illusion.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking you.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
M.C. Grill
Me: You stupid. Guy: You straight. Me: Sorry, I'm not a mirror.
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.