You jokes
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.
Like this if you have ever had a family member die.
Papyrus: Sans, stop being a lazy Bones.
Sans: Why bro, guess you don't have the back bone to do anything, heheh.
What do you call an Indian going through the bins?
RUM-MAJINGG
Disabled man stands up.
Blind man: “You can stand?”
Deaf man: “You can see?”
Mute man: “You can hear?”
Disabled man: “You can talk?”
Doctor: “What the actual fuck?”
Other doctor: “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!”
Memes
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
I would tell you a joke about my dink, but it's too long.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, go tell their parents?
Hate me all you want, but I gotta say, this whole thing with Gwen and TJ is ridiculous.
What do you call a cow that lives in Africa? Moo-fasa!
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I see you, I play with my poo.
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
Have you heard about the new movie with Stephen Hawking as the star? It's called "Unplugged."
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Are you a banana...
because I find you a-peeling!