You jokes
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.
You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.
My sister: You were born ugly.
Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
Memes
Bully: I wasn't talking to you.
Me: Then why are you listening?
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your dick into someone's asshole.
1+1=3
If you don't use a condom.
These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.
Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
Your forehead is so big, you could roast meat on it.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, All the worse jokes come from you.
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.