Hello Miss Chandia, here. I want to tell you guys a joke.
What do jokes serve for dessert?
You Jokes
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
How do you know if a chick is too fat?
If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
You are so scary that even your hairline ran away.
With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
