You jokes
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.
GF: What do you think of our love?
BF: Count the stars in the sky.
GF: Aww... It's infinity!
BF: Nope. It's just a waste of time.
If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.
OH NO
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
What do you call a selfie of an orphan? A family photo.
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?
What do you call a group of transgender women?
X-Men.
If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?
Juans upon a time.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
You are my compass; without you, I’m lost.
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.