You jokes
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
🤡🤡
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.
What do you call two natives in a sleeping bag?
Twix.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
Why You should never poop on the floor in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have Windows. 🤢 🤣
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
How do you know if a chick is too fat?
If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.