Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?
Daughter: *tooth hurty*
Dad: All right.
You Jokes
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A self-portrait.
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.
Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.
Man A: "Is Google male or female?"
Man B: "Female, because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion."
You would think catholic churches would be in favor of condoms: less DNA evidence.
Going to church, you don't think you are Christian.
Sleeping with ten men, you don't think you are straight.
When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
Wanna ride a reindeer for Christmas? *rubs my antlers on you*
You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle, and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do, and finally the friend said, "Why don't you just use me?" The boyfriend said, "Why did I not think of using the third wheel?"
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
Do you have a halo, cause I can give you one.
What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker?
Hop in!
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?
