You jokes
What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?
Next time I’m bringing all my friends.
What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?
A nugget.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call an orphan family? None existent.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
What do you call a crazy lesbian?
Fruit Loops.
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.
Did you hear about the orphan that tried to high five a tree? It left her hanging.
You twin towers because I'm tryna ram in you tonight.
What do you call a Pokémon who can’t move very fast?
A Slowpoke.
How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a Golbat.
What do you tell a stressed-out Pokémon?
“Kakuna Rattata!”
What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What's the difference between babies and onions?
You don't cry cutting up babies.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter what you call it; it won’t come to you.
What’s the difference between a Rubik's cube and a penis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂