You jokes

How do you kill Hellen Keller?

Take her on a walk off a cliff.

To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?

You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.

What do you call someone who subscribes to Toast4128 on YouTube?

A very good person.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."

The other asks, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

Why? You ask.

Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.

You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"

I told a blind kid, "See you later!"

You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.

Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?

I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)

Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.

My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.

What do you call an emo with a knife?

A cutting board.

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

Why did the rooster cross the road?

To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^

How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?

You dye it blue and it will cut itself.

How do you cut your grass without a lawn mower?

You dye it blue and it will cut itself.

My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.

The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.

And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"

Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.