You jokes

Pizza

Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.

Mom

Worst joke Ever: What do you call a fat kom? A FAT MOM! LALALALLA!

Depression

A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.

Memes

Fat

You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.

Sadness

You were sad because your grandmother died.

The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.

Friend

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I have a traitor friend, and that is YOU.

Condom

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

Sister

My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.

Blonde

Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.

Dad

A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"

The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."