You jokes
Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.
Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!
Person: WTF!
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
Memes
It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.
Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
A. Because it has a silent pee.
Hippity hoppity, you are no one's property.
Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.
A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"
The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."
An orphanage is like a horse rescue: you rescue them, you rehabilitate them, and then you sell them to the highest bidder.
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?
Because they have a hare-line.
Prince, I love you very much! Happy anniversary! Love you! ❤️❤️😘
If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?
Hello Watersharky, I am Koge.
I see your songs and want to be your agent. Please write back about this offer. Thank you.
How do you call a cute door?
A-door-able.