You jokes
What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
Worst joke Ever: What do you call a fat kom? A FAT MOM! LALALALLA!
I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((
Are you twinning today? Because The Rock would be shocked!
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I have a traitor friend, and that is YOU.
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.
Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower.
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
What do you call a German that can't see? A Notsee.
I was gonna tell you a Kobe Bryant joke.
But it would just crash and burn.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.
Son: Okay, I'll do it!
5 hours later...
Son: I'm done!
Dad: I lied.
Son: So did I!