You jokes
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).
Memes
What do you call an Asian that was born too early?
Wong Tai Ming.
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
I'm 50% human, so that 50% stupid is 100% you.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!
* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?
Frisk: One knife, plz.
Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.
Waiter: You eat a knife?
Frisk: Yes.
*Waiter asking for one knife*
Waiter: Here you go.
Frisk: Thanks you.
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
What is the only part of a vegetable you can’t eat?
The wheelchair.
What do you call field day in Africa?
The Hunger Games.
A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?
He won the no-Bell prize.
Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.