Swearing Jokes

teacher: okay class whats a word that begins with A? student: apple! teacher: good! What's a word beginning with b? student:....Bitch...

My Penis is big and long what else is... my condom.....cucumber🥒🥒🥒🥜🖕🤬

What's the difference between saying bloody in America and in the U.K?

In the U.K, it's a swear word

In America, it's a family reunion

What did the swearing hen say?

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK! (It's cluck)

What did the cussing rooster say?

Cock-a-poo-dle phew!

A husband and a wife have four children the oldest three are tall with blonde hair, the youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said “honey, can you be completely honest with me, is our youngest son mine?” The wife says “I swear to all that is holy he is your son.” Then the husband died and the wife muttered, “thank god he didn’t ask about the other three.”


Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.

i swear in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers cant even win a war, might as well send all your school shooters over there