How do you know when an orphan is lying.
When they say I swear on my mother’s life
what kind of tea is hard to swallow...............realiTea
Why do we tell actors to break a leg, because every play has a cast!
What happens when a frog's car breaks down It gets toad away
Why did the cow cross the road?? To go to the Mooovies
Knock knock...Who's there? Surprise! Surprise who? Surprise mother fucker!
Why did the duck walk across the road I lost my pecker
What's the difference between saying bloody in America and in the U.K?
In the U.K, it's a swear word
In America, it's a family reunion
One day, a preist and a nun went to play golf together. In the first shot, the preist missed his shot and said “Fuck I missed it.” The nun replied “Hey you should not curse.” In the second shot, the preist missed his shot again and said “Fuck I missed again.” The nun replied “Hey stop swearing, or else god will punish you.” In the next shot, the preist missed once again. He shouted “Fuck this, this game is bullshit.” The nun replied “Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime.” Suddenly, a thunderbolt stroke the nun and killed her, the clouds separated from the sky and there was a voice in the sky saying “Oh fuck I missed.”
Any body who doesn't like Pepsi is a coke —suckered
Just looking for a cunt.... Oh hello found one
My Penis is big and long what else is... my condom.....cucumber🥒🥒🥒🥜🖕🤬
personally i think putting beans on toast is better that bullets in children
Roses are red violets are fine you can be the sic and I can be the nine
Why are chickens so funny becauseeeee
A sandwich walks into a bar
Bartender says sorry we don't serve food here
I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigerates at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)
teacher: okay class whats a word that begins with A? student: apple! teacher: good! What's a word beginning with b? student:....Bitch...
A husband and a wife have four children the oldest three are tall with blonde hair, the youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said “honey, can you be completely honest with me, is our youngest son mine?” The wife says “I swear to all that is holy he is your son.” Then the husband died and the wife muttered, “thank god he didn’t ask about the other three.”
🌵funking prick
