Swearing Jokes

Knock knock...Who's there? Surprise! Surprise who? Surprise mother fucker!

What's the difference between saying bloody in America and in the U.K?

In the U.K, it's a swear word

In America, it's a family reunion

One day, a preist and a nun went to play golf together. In the first shot, the preist missed his shot and said “Fuck I missed it.” The nun replied “Hey you should not curse.” In the second shot, the preist missed his shot again and said “Fuck I missed again.” The nun replied “Hey stop swearing, or else god will punish you.” In the next shot, the preist missed once again. He shouted “Fuck this, this game is bullshit.” The nun replied “Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime.” Suddenly, a thunderbolt stroke the nun and killed her, the clouds separated from the sky and there was a voice in the sky saying “Oh fuck I missed.”

My Penis is big and long what else is... my condom.....cucumber🥒🥒🥒🥜🖕🤬

teacher: okay class whats a word that begins with A? student: apple! teacher: good! What's a word beginning with b? student:....Bitch...

A husband and a wife have four children the oldest three are tall with blonde hair, the youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said “honey, can you be completely honest with me, is our youngest son mine?” The wife says “I swear to all that is holy he is your son.” Then the husband died and the wife muttered, “thank god he didn’t ask about the other three.”