You jokes
* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?
Frisk: One knife, plz.
Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.
Waiter: You eat a knife?
Frisk: Yes.
*Waiter asking for one knife*
Waiter: Here you go.
Frisk: Thanks you.
What is the only part of a vegetable you can’t eat?
The wheelchair.
A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
How do you anger a democrat?
Don't tell him the truth.
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
What do you call a crippled terrorist?
An RC-XD.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?
"Chancel culture!"
What do you call a German that can not see?
A Not-see.