You jokes
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
What do you say when an emo cuts themself?
"Like your cut, G."
Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?
Daddy never came back with the milk.
Say "I hop in this:".
I made you eat your peas! 🤦
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter what you call it; it won’t come to you.
Dude, Mississippi got a better K/D ratio than you.
What do you call a tall person?
A tall person.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."
If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?
How do you tell the difference between a girl spaghetti and a boy spaghetti?
Meatballs.
Are you a cheese 🧀 from Denmark? Because your "guta."
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
Exercise?
I thought you said "extra fries!"
-A minion (you may now laugh).
Why do people make fun of you jokes in worst jokes ever? Because it is called "worst jokes ever."
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.