You jokes

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?

I think that you're an accident!

Think about you are so fucking high that you are walking to a lift and inside the lift are stairs. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

You're so trash that when I dropped you off, I got a ticket for littering.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

Fence 1 was thinking and Fence 2 said, "Are you still on the fence about running away?"

Fence 1 said, "Yeah, I was thinking of running on the RAILROAD."

When are you from Delaware? You know!!! 📦

When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.

When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?

Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.

They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.

I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”

Me: Then which one are you?

What do you get if you eat sugar?

High.

You were born on the highway. That's where most accidents happen.

Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!

Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.

How do you say "nose" in Spanish?

hmm.... No sé.

What do you call a devil texting you? Travelers on the way. 😈🤣

An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.

What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."

What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.

Why do emo kids cost so much?

Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.

What do you call a religious drug addict?

A crystal methodist.