You jokes
Did you hear the one about the hills?
It was hillarious.
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
Memes
"Knife to meet you all!"
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.
Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?
Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.
Mother: Do you understand?
Leo: No.
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?
A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.
You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say, "Goodbye."
Ur mum—oh wait, you don't have that.
How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? "Then why won't you slap my face, because I'm bad?"
Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.
Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.
Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said, "No, you won’t return it."
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
[pause] You said you’d never forget.
Don't let an extra chromosome keep you down!