You jokes
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!
Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
Name the emojis, and if you do, then you get 900/900 points for knowing all the emojis! Type in the comment section.
1. 😀 What's this emoji meaning? 2. 😃 What's this emoji meaning? 3. 😚 What's this emoji meaning? 4. 😁 What's this emoji meaning? 5. 😍 What's this emoji meaning? 6. 😋 What's this emoji meaning? 7. 🧐 What's this emoji meaning? 8. 😟 What's this emoji meaning? 9. 😳 What's this emoji meaning? 10. 😟 What's this emoji meaning? 11. 😰😨 What's this emoji meaning? 12. 😏 What's this emoji meaning? 13. 😬 What's this emoji meaning? 14. 🤐😣 What's this emoji meaning? 15. 😦🥺 What's this emoji meaning?
The winner who will win will be getting 900/900 points!
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"
If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
What do you call a two-dimensional owl? A Paper Towl!
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
What do you call a bus full of white people?
A TWINKiE!!!
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!
This whole page is pure trash. Fuck all of you.
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.
You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"9/11"
"9/11 Who?"
"I thought you'd never forget..."
Man: Can you be my girlfriend?
Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.
Man: Oh, here's your rope.