You jokes
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he’s not a full Esé.
Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors' fault like this:
Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: Yeah? Sailor 1: You see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: Yeah. Sailor 1: You know what would be pretty funny?
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"
"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."
You shouldn’t bully fat people.
They already have enough on their plate.
Like if you have balls.
When you suffer from depression and somebody tells you to just cheer up-- Me: My goodness, what an idea! Why didn't I think of this before?
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: How do you breathe through that little thing?
what do you call 6 gay men in WWII?
Rainbow Six Siege.
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
You call it a tragedy. I call it a 25 killstreak.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely?
Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.
Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.
(This is a fucked up pick up line). Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11.
Bully: "Nobody loves you."
Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.