You jokes
Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...
Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doctor, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you!
What is the difference between a woman performing anilingus on a man and a woman performing fellatio on a man?
If a woman is performing anilingus on a man, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!
Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!
Like if you have balls.
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.
what do you call 6 gay men in WWII?
Rainbow Six Siege.
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker.
What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely?
Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
Once you go Asian, you can solve the equation.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.