You jokes
Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.
P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.
P2: Airplane wifi.
Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.
Joseph: No, they don't.
Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.
Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"
Did you know the F in orphan stands for family... Oh wait, haha.
We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell their parents... Oh, continue.
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despresso.
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen.
Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.
What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?
Panera bread serving food.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.
I want to tell you a joke about 9/11... but I'm afraid it will be the bomb.
Me: Hey, do you want to meet my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
Ur mum—oh wait, you don't have that.
I: "Get a boomerang."
Type: "Why?"
Me: "Because for frisbee, you need friends."
What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
Pikachu, I choose you!
TJ's hairline is so far back, if you travel back in time, you still won't find it.