You jokes
What do you call a skeleton in the snow? A numb skull.
I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.
"Knife to meet you all!"
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
Did you hear the one about the hills?
It was hillarious.
Memes
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?
Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.
Mother: Do you understand?
Leo: No.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
Q: What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
A: Alien vs. Predator.
What do you call meat in an oven?
Africa.
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought the Grinch was ugly until I saw you.
How do you bury a prostitute?
In a Y-shaped coffin.
What do you call someone who makes a joke about society?
The Joker.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.