You jokes
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.
How do you know America's bad at chess?
They lost 2 towers!
Like this if you are in foster care.
How many kids does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂
screw global warming
Funny things or weird things to say to someone.
Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.
It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!
Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.
Baby-Bugga-Boo.
Fuzzkins.
Lumpy.
Nilly.
Ninty Minty.
and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
What do you get when you cross a redneck and another redneck?
Incest.
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.
Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.
Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.
Knock, knock. Who's there? You're adopted.
What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it.
When you get caught about to shoot up the school,
*slowly puts AR to chin*
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
Rape isn't a joke.
It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.
It's a way of art, and works on anybody!
Like this if you agree.
Charli tries to roast me: Roses are red, violets are blue, and you look like poo.
Me: You must have been born on the highway because that's where most accidents happen.
Do you know why Jesus is so popular with the ladies??
Haven't you ever seen pictures of the guy? He was hung like this... 🤚--------🤪----------✋
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐