You jokes
I never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?
Cremation.
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
How do you make a lesbian upset?
Give her a multiplication test.
What do you call it when a white person beats a black person?
A KKKO.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.
Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?
Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.
Mother: Do you understand?
Leo: No.
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
Don't let an extra chromosome keep you down!
I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
Person 1: Hi, I am Tom, and you?
Person 2: Andrew?
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?