You jokes
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on the bench?
The NBA.
What do you call a toy that has a story?
Toy Story.
Are you a knife? Because I want you.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
Memes
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.
Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.
What do you call a friend in space?
Space friend.
Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture, you were considered as an island.
Bully: (Speechless)
Do you know what the F in Orphan stands for?
Family.
You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
- JFK
Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?
Sure, man. I. H. O. P.
Wait, you ate my pee!!!
You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!