You jokes

Gift

Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?

He didn't give me any.

I was made by the Devil.

Dairy

What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?

Non-buy dairy.

Orphan

What's a benefit of being an orphan?

No one makes yo mama jokes to you.

Finger

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers and the middle one's for you.

Police Officer

A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"

Priest

How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.

Doctor

Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.

Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?

Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.

Orphan: Why?

Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.

People

Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.

Sex toy

You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.

Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!

Orphan

My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.

Fraud

Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?

A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)

Difference

What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?

You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.

Shit

Bligitty blot, bliggity blit,

You better not be talkin' shit. 🔫