You jokes

Metoo

How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.

Nun

What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.

Owl

The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.

School

I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"

Smoking

How is smoking similar to oral sex?

The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢

Washing Machine

What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.

Friend

Friend 1: I don't want to jump.

Friend 2: Me neither.

Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.

Friend 1: *jumps*

Friend 2: *jumps*

Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!

Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.

Pedophile

Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?

He took a girl's innocence.