You jokes
If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?
What do you call a person who cares for chickens?
A chicken tender.
What do you call a ghost bee?
Boobees.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk home and walk?
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
Our Deaf Friend
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
What do you call a terrorist in water?
A bath bomb 😁
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.
What do you call a cow without legs? Ground beef.
If you drive a Lamborghini, then you have a tiny weenie.
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
Did you know that new Teslas don't come with the new car smell?
They come with an Elon Musk.
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?