You jokes
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
What time is it when you get home, can you walk home and walk?
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
Memes
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
How do you say "Brazier" in German?
Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)
A French Sans would greet you with the "o bone-jour".
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!
Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.
What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?
You decide.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words: "You still holding the ladder, son?"
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?
Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.
What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?
You just got fruit-rolled.
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."