You jokes
Did you know I'm a really fast reader?
I can go through a few stories in just a few seconds!
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
What do you call an autistic black man with a rifle?
Black ops.
Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.
Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.
Memes
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a bouquet in my pants for you.
When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
What do you call a black abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers.
What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.
What do you call 4 black guys and 2 white guys?
The Oreo Gang!
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.