You jokes
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
What do you call an orphan? No home-o.
Well, you know what they say about cliffhangers...
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.
We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.
Obv, unless you share your residence.
What do you call terrorists in a wheelchair?
An RCXD.
Q.) What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A.) A family stump.
You know I used to call my dogs' balls the Twin Towers, until they came rumbling down.
Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"
Because he needs to pick your balls.
Bestfriend @3am: I love you.
Me: Love you too.
*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*
I don't know if this is funny.