You jokes
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
What website should you go to to look up LSD dealers?
TripAdvisor.com
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.