You jokes

what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?

Niagra falls

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?

Special Forces.

If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?

Well, you know what they say about cliffhangers...

The Good Old Days.

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.

We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

Q.) What do you call an orphan's family tree?

A.) A family stump.

In the bus, you can't spell "black" without "back."

You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?

What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?

Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.

Obv, unless you share your residence.

What do you call terrorists in a wheelchair?

An RCXD.

What do you call an 18 year old orphan?

Homeless.

How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?

When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.

So if you are bored, punch an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?🙄🙄

Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.

Son: Why, Dad?

Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.

What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)