You jokes
Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.
You know those paper families you cut out?
Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.
What do you call an orphan with a boner?
Porn.
How do you circumcise a redneck?
Kick his sister in the chin.
Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
What do you call a deaf animal?
Anything, it can't hear you.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"
What do you call a feminist with a rape whistle? Delusional and optimistic.
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.