You jokes
There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.
Did you know I'm a really fast reader?
I can go through a few stories in just a few seconds!
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
Memes
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
What do you call a flat emo?
A chopping blockđź–¤
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.
My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*
What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?
When you drop them both, everyone screams.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
I'm actually against abortion.
Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.