You jokes
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?
A. A Notsee.
I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”
And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.
While fucking, my sister said, "Brother, you are so naughty! You fucked our elder aunt every day in the absence of my uncle and cousins and made her pregnant!" Little did she know, I fucked our mother every day in the absence of her, my father, and my elder brother and made my mom pregnant as well!
What do you get when you cross a bisexual male that is a catholic priest and a christian police officer that is a bisexual male and a born again homophobic heteroflexable male that is a christian nationalist who is in the closet a gay man that needs to be force out of the closet by any means necessary?
How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
What do you call Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.
1 hour before:
So let me get...
Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!
Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
The cheetah had a race with a lion, and the cheetah won.
The lion was like, "Why you always a cheetah?"
The cheetah was like, "Why you always lion (lying)?"
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
What do you call a musician 👩🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!
Sans: Zzzzzzzz.
Papyrus: SANS, WAKE UP!!
Sans: What is it, dude?
Papyrus: A human has fallen from the surface world!
Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.