You jokes
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Me time.
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.
What do you call an Asian telephone?
Ling Ling.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
Anatidaephobia
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
Official Dj Penaldo playlist.
1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"
Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?
Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the check.