You jokes
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..
What do you call a running chicken?
Scared.
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. How about you gobble deez nuts?
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
What do you call a musician 👩🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.
This is to the girl/boy named Gwen: Are you okay? I see there is a bunch of haters but DON'T, I repeat, DON'T let the haters get to you. I hope you see this and respond and that you are okay. Please Gwen, be honest.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.
Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.
Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.